Today's post is going to be on a heavier topic. But it's something I feel compelled to share because I am SICK to my stomach over a video I just watched.
Let me preface this with a couple things:
1. I KNOW that I am a "beauty blogger". Yes, the sole purpose of my blog is for sharing fun outfits, my favorite makeup looks and things of that nature. So please don't call me a hypocrite for sharing my thoughts and feelings on this video. Just because I LIKE to put together a fun outfit and put on make up DOES NOT mean that I think everyone HAS to do that. It's fun, and I do those things to make myself feel good, but cute clothes and pretty makeup are NOT the most important things.
2. Please don't look at me sharing my thoughts as a "compliment fisher" or someone looking for pity. I'm not. I'm sharing simply because this "shaming" people thing is ridiculous and horrible and it needs to end.
This post will make more sense if you've seen the video that has me all emotional this morning. It's a little hard to watch, but the message shared is a good one.
There are times where I love social media. It's great to see what my friends are up to and keep in touch. I love that I have made so many new friends because of my blog. I think when social media is used the right way, it's great.
On the other hand, I hate social media because it creates a place for horrible people to say horrible things. The comments shared in the video are horrendous. In real life, NO ONE would ever go up to this girl, who they don't even know, and say those things to her in person. The comments she shared in this video probably weren't even the worst ones she received. It's called freedom of speech, not freedom to be cruel.
We live in a world where we are bombarded by what "beauty" is. And to the media, beauty is one "perfect" mold with standards that NO ONE can ever achieve. As women, we are told: be skinny. Don't be TOO skinny. Be tall. Don't be TOO tall. You have to be petite. You have to be blonde. You have to be brunette. You have to be tan. Porcelain skin is perfect skin. You have to wear makeup. You wear too much makeup. Covering your skin imperfections with makeup is "false advertising." Cover your skin, you have zits. UM, what? If reading that confused you, then I proved my point.
Please take a look at these pictures of Victoria's Secret models with no makeup.
They are all beautiful women without makeup. They look just like the rest of us. Without a team of hair and makeup people, even the Victoria's Secret Angels don't look like Victoria's Secret Angels.
It's pretty safe to say that the media is never going to change. We are always going to be shown how we "should" look. (Which is ridiculous because even the people in those photos don't look like that.) So even if you aren't being outright bullied by someone, you still see a million ads a day showing you what you "should" look like. And it gets in your head.
Sometimes it's not an actual bully, sometimes it's you bullying yourself.
Too many girls are standing in front of the mirror over analyzing every tiny imperfection, and seeing imperfections that aren't even there. We've all done it. We've all stood in front of the mirror wishing for smaller hips, or a better butt, or thinner arms, or bigger boobs, or smaller boobs. We poke at our stomachs and pull at our "double chins". Too many of us have cried over our body image issues. We take 10 selfies before finding one we aren't embarrassed to post.
If you are someone who has never done this, please teach me how to be that confident and content with how I look. If you're the girl like me, who expects perfection from herself, then listen up.
We are being ridiculous. We are being mean to ourselves. We are making ourselves feel bad about looking the way we look, when there are things we notice about ourselves that no one else even notices. And even though I can say that, and I can be logical now, sitting here all fired up because no one should stand in front of the mirror crying over how they look, I can't always think logically in the moment.
I wish I had a magic solution, I wish I could end this post by saying "and here's how I over came my insecurities:"
But I can't say that. Because I deal with my own self doubt every day. It's something that I've always struggled with and it's something that I'm doing my best to overcome. There will always be insecurities, but I'm working on being patient with myself. And each day that I can skip the over analyzation of myself, is one day closer to reaching the confidence and contentment I hope to have.
Something that helps me be more confident every day is surrounding myself with people who love me. People who make me feel good about myself and tell me to knock it off when I get all weird and "perfectionist-y" (huh?) And I am so thankful that I have these uplifting people to surround myself with!
I want to end my post by saying this: the media is never going to change, and horrible people are always going to say horrible things. We can't change that. BUT we CAN change the way we react to those things and we can learn to change our way of thinking about ourselves. So when you start to go to that place where you start saying mean things to yourself, STEP AWAY FROM THE MIRROR. And go occupy your time with something uplifting.
If you made it to the end of this long and hopefully not tooooooo rambling post, then thanks for reading. I loved the end of the video where it said "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Don't let anyone tell you differently, not even yourself."